What should you do if a friend owes you money?
Perhaps you took out a loan or bought something with your credit card for them because you had a better credit rating. Or perhaps you just lent them the money. And now they aren’t repaying you.
It would have been better to have thought all this through BEFORE lending the money… research has shown that nearly a third of people have fallen out with a friend or family member over an unpaid debt of £100 or less.
Before you take legal action, you need to consider two things:
- are you likely to win your case?
- does your friend have any money?
This article looks at whether it is sensible to take legal action and how you would do it in England or Wales. If you live in Scotland or Northern Ireland, the small claims processes are different – contact your local Citizens Advice office to find out about them.
Can you show you are owed the money?
To win a case, you need to have some evidence that your friend owes you money. This doesn’t have to be a written legal contract, with witnesses etc. Suing someone for money is a civil case and the judge will decide who wins “on the balance of probabilities”, looking at whose story seems most likely.
You can have a valid legal contract if it was just a spoken agreement between the two of you. But there does need to be something you can show. If you gave your friend £200 in cash and no-one saw you do this, you are going to have problems with this part…
If your friend denies you ever gave them the money or whatever you bought on their behalf, is there someone who was there when you discussed the loan? Do you have an email from your friend saying they are broke and could you help them out? Was the sofa delivered to your friend’s house not yours? Does your bank statement show a transfer to your friend’s account?
If the friend started making some repayments but then stopped, if these show in your bank account or if the friend was making the repayments on your credit card, that is good evidence that there was some sort of loan.
If you aren’t sure whether what you have is going to be “good enough”, then you could go to your local Citizens Advice Bureau and see what they think.
Was it a loan or a gift?
If your friend says the object was a present, does this seem plausible? Friends don’t usually give each other furniture or a car for Christmas.
But partners do give each other gifts, sometimes expensive ones. And parents may give a child a large sum as a deposit for a house.
If a gift seems plausible, the key facts in a court are likely to be whether there is any written evidence that the money was expected to be repaid. If some repayments were made, that suggests the money was not a gift, for example. See this newspaper article My ex says he will take me to court if I don’t pay him back thousands of pounds he gifted me to buy a new car which looks at one case.
Can your friend really afford to repay you?
If your friend has no money or assets, there is little point in taking them to court. Suppose you win the case – your friend now has a County Court Judgment (CCJ) but they may still not give you the money. They could apply to the court and offer you £5 a month say, which the court will agree to if that is all they can afford. Or they could just ignore the judgment!
If they have a house with a lot of equity, or a car that is worth something – not one bought on car finance – or a well-paid job, then there are ways that you can “enforce the court judgment” and get the money that you are owed, but these will:
- all cost you money;
- some, such as bailiffs, may well not work; and
- getting a charge over their house will not get you the money until it is sold. It is very, very rare to be able to force someone to sell their house.
This is a really hard decision to take because it feels so unfair.
But if your friend is in financial difficulty, getting a CCJ is very probably pointless. You will have wasted the court fees and not gained anything.
A more practical alternative may be to be sympathetic to your friend’s problems and ask them if they can pay you a small amount every week or month. Something is better than nothing…
What if you don’t know where your friend is?
If your friend seems to have moved, isn’t answering your calls and no-one knows where they are, this is very bad news. You can still sue them using their last address and win the case.
But that doesn’t mean you will get any money! If you don’t know where they are your chance of being able to “enforce” the court judgment are close to zero. The courts aren’t going to help you locate someone, nor will the police.
There is simply no point in pursuing this unless there is a lot of money involved, you have a very good case AND you know they have a lot of assets. Often the best you can do is assemble all the evidence you would have produced in court about the debt and keep it in a file, in case they reappear.
How do you sue someone?
Citizen’s Advice has a good guide about this.
The first step is to try to sort it out before going to court. You need to send your friend a “letter before action”, there is a template in the Citizens Advice guide. This letter needs to be posted and you should keep proof of posting.
It needs to give your friend a set period, usually a couple of weeks, to reply. This may seem frustratingly slow if you think they are going to ignore it, but it has to be done.
Sometimes a formal letter makes someone see sense and come up with a proposal for repayments. If they say they will repay say £40 a month, unless you are sure they can afford more, it might be wise to accept it rather than risk going to court.
After that you need to put in your “claim”. This can be on paper but it is most easily done using the Money Claim Online (MCOL) service. You shouldn’t need a solicitor to do this, but your local Citizens Advice can help if necessary.
There will only need to be a court hearing if your friend decides to defend the claim.
What does it cost?
If you sue someone you have to pay court fees at the start. The amount depends on the amount of money you are claiming. Issuing a claim for up to 300 costs £35 for example. There will be extra charges if there is hearing or if you need to try to enforce the judgment.
You may be able to get help with these fees if you are on a very low income.
In theory you get your costs back if you win as they are added onto what your friend owes. But this may not work if you don’t know where they are or they simply ignore the judgment.
Other FAQs
Can I sell my debt to a debt collector? No, debt collection agencies would not be interested in buying this sort of private debt.
Can’t the police sue them and get my money back? No, the police will tell you this is a “civil” matter, not a “criminal” matter. They will probably suggest you go to your local Citizens Advice – which is a good suggestion!
What about money someone owes me outside the UK? Sorry, I have no idea. You need to take local advice.
How much will my credit score change if…
Apps that make managing money easier
Problems paying your council tax
William says
hello I borrowed my friend money(for his rent and car payment and some other), over past year and he paid some of it back, but then kept borrowing again. I gave him money in cash and also in bank payments, tho he only paid me back in bank transactions, but overall he still owes me £600 and now he started ignoring me for 2 weeks, I have lots of screenshots of messages of him asking/begging me for money or he will get kicked out/his car will taken , telling he will pay me back, etc and lots of screenshots of me asking him when he will start paying back, why he started hiding.. Is it worth sending him a message that I will take this to court if he wont start paying me back? I think he still barely has any money, so If I’d win, would I even get my money back? Thank you.
Sara (Debt Camel) says
Winning a court case doesn’t magically mean your friend has any more money to repay you with.
I can’t guess how he would respond to a threat
Tejpal Oberoi says
You must still pursue…I went to governments money claim online site and won the case…the debtor (friend) did not have the full money he owed so we agreed a repay back plan over 28 months…this way I recovered
Make sure you have proof of all documentation, email exchanges, WhatsApp etc.
Sara (Debt Camel) says
It worked for you. But if the person owing the money has no spare income, it won’t. And some people simply ignore a CCJ.
Thomas says
You can send him a threat to take it to court, but courts will usually presume that loans between friends were not intended to be legally binding, unless you had a formal (written) agreement.
Sara (Debt Camel) says
That is just not helpful. It depends on the facts of the case. There is a large difference between £40 and £4000.
Chris says
Hi. In 2006 my then girlfriend booked a holiday for us to go on but we split up before the holiday could happen.
We have in recent months (2022/2023) reconnected as friends but she is asking if it’s possible for me to pay back half the sum of this holiday, £400. There is no contract in place for this repayment, she would just like it back
She hasn’t said anything about legal action but she is insistent that i pay out of fairness. I’m just wondering if I should have to pay. Fairly sure she just wants easy money. I have mentioned in texts that I could try and get the money to her.
Sara (Debt Camel) says
I’m just wondering if I should have to pay.
Legally? Possibly not as it may be time barred …. But it may not be, it will all depend if there has ever been a 6 year period in which you didn’t ‘acknowledge’ that you owed the debt. Talk to National Debtline on 0808 808 4000 about this.
But morally? That may matter more to you.
And can you afford it?
Christopher says
Yes the holiday was booked and paid for in 2006. I havent heard off her in general until 2022. She suggested I could repay her in 2023. She hasn’t pursued any legal action at all in any of this time.
I could afford to repay her but it just feels like I’m being stung for money as she isnt very good at all with money managament. No time frame or contract has been set for repayment, just “if and when you can”.
Sara (Debt Camel) says
Perhaps she isn’t very good with money because people take advantage of her? This is a moral problem for you and I don’t see whether she is good with money as being relevant to your decision about whether it’s right for you to repay her. But that is my personal view on the ethics of the situation, not debt advice.
Christopher says
Between 2006 and 2022 there has been no acknowledgement by either her or myself rhat it needed paying. It first got mentioned last year (2022) but she hasn’t corresponded over the years.
I can put money aside to eventually cover the debt but it still feels like a bit opportunistic in a time when she is of her own admission in a lot of debt with poor money management. It feels like a moral/principle argument than a legal one
Christopher says
Thank you very much for your advice. I’m juat going to pay her and sleep soundly at night
Veronica says
I lent a friend £40k and we have a contract, she was making regular payments untill April this year..as she lost her job.
Her marriage broke down and she had a drug problem. We were very close but I had to step away as she was in with that wrong crowd.
She’s now got a new job as a financial controller and moved back in with her parents.
I know her she’s been going through alot but how long should I wait. I don’t need the money straight away but will need it in the future.
I wanted to get a solicitor to write to her to ask when she could start paying me back. Is this something I could do?
What would your advice be.
Thanks
Sara (Debt Camel) says
I think that is a lot of money, talking to a solicitor may be a good idea.
John says
Hi,
I leant my friend £5000, they consistently makes dates to pay me back but never follows through with it.
I want to look at trying to peruse it legally, but it seems even if I won the court case I they had no money, I wouldn’t be able to get it back anyway?
Is that correct? do I just have to accept my money is gone?
Thanks for your help.
Sara (Debt Camel) says
If they don’t have any money, where do you think the money will come from to pay you?
Do they have a good job?
Have you asked them to pay you back in monthly instalments?
Roseann says
Hi I lent my ex money form my pension 5 years ago and we have broken up but the only evidence I have is a bank statement of the transfer but where do I stand ? He can’t pay me back till he retires which is quite a long time . Despite him just selling his mother house and not paying his debts off . But managed to buy house so I need advice what I can do .?
Sara (Debt Camel) says
How much money was it?
Nat says
I lent someone money several years ago, they were making payments then stopped. They owe me just under £15k. I have asked and been patient over the years but it seems like they just won’t return it now. I have recently done a quick Google search of them and they have a linkdin which shows they are employed whereas when I previously asked they kept saying they don’t have a job and have moved cities; the dates of me asking and their cv show that they have either been false to me or on their CV. I don’t know if they have assets, what is it worth me doing?
Sara (Debt Camel) says
when did they last make a payment? do you know their address?
Nat says
last made a payment in 2017. I do have their last known address but cant be sure they still live there. I have asked them to restart payments a few months back but nothing
Sara (Debt Camel) says
If it has been more than 6 years, then you may have a problem in court as the debt may be statute barred. I suggest you talk to your local Citizens Advice urgently about this (which would be free), or a solicitor (which you would have to pay for).
Tati says
Hi, my supervisor lent me 2,000 pounds to help me pay for my medical insurance when I was moving to the UK last year to study with her, the plan was for me to pay her back or alternatively pay her back in work helping her with experiments in the lab that had nothing to do with my studies.
I offered her to pay most of the loan off last year and asked several times for her account details but she insisted to leave it like that and that I could just help her out with work and it would be covered. I had been doing extra work but since it was an informal agreement we never discussed, hourly rates or explicitly mentioned the extra work I was doing was going to cover the loan.
Recently I had to change supervisors which led to her asking for the money in full, which I do not have and which she had told me several times that I didn´t have to pay back to her. I tried to talk with her about the work I had done and how many hours I had worked and how much I really tought I owed her, which came down to around 400 pounds and offered to pay it to her immediatly but she is now refusing for me to pay her that amount and claiming that she will also charge me for all the costs of leisure related activities we did together (I am assuming the times she invited me over for dinner, offered to pay for coffee, etc, even though I also paid for coffees, etc.). I am a bit scared she will take the matter to court, is that possible?
Sara (Debt Camel) says
what sort of job do you have?
Belinda says
Would like some advice on how to get money back from a so called ex partner I have all messages where he actually says he will pay back wat he owes he has also given me dates that he would pay every month but nothing ever materialises its all been bank transfers so can prove all transactions plus it’s been to all different accounts and I also have those too but can’t afford a solicitor as I have no money because of all this
Sara (Debt Camel) says
The article above looks at your options. No easy solution.
Mr N A says
Hi, would someone be able to help advise if a person can be taken to court and money retrieved.
My brother started working at a new job, he met a guy working there and over the past two months this guy has borrow £2260 from him. MY Brother has texts each time he has asked for money and texts agreeing that he owes him money and will pay him. Each time he said he will pay him he has then come up with an excuse and hasn’t paid him. He has done this over many texts.
Living in the UK, can we take him to court and get that money back if my brother has texts as evidence, proof it was a loan and bank statements?
Sara (Debt Camel) says
As the article above explains, the key point is whether he has any money to repay your brother.
John says
Hi,
20k was loaned with the promise that the funds will be returned upon the sale of their house. the individual decided to not sell the house and 10 years on still refuses to pay. there are loads of messages proving this position.
Is there a way to force the sale of the house
or take charge/ownership of the equity that would have been owned due to the money tehcnically being invested?
Sara (Debt Camel) says
I suggest you need to talk urgently to a solicitor about this.
John says
Is there anybody that you can recommend?
Sara (Debt Camel) says
Sorry, no
College Brawl apk says
Thanks for sharing this informative post! I’ve been in a similar situation before where a friend owes me money, and it’s really strained our friendship. I’ve found that it’s important to communicate your concerns with your friend in a non- confrontational manner. Have you tried reaching out to your friend and having an open and honest conversation about the issue? Sometimes, people don’t realize the impact their actions are having on others, and a calm and respectful conversation can help resolve the issue.